Tuesday, March 21, 2017

The 5 Types Of Empaths And Their Unique Psychic Ability


Empaths are powerful people, whether they realize it or not. To find out which type of empath you are, and the psychic ability linked to your individual type, read below.

1. Emotional Empathy is the most common – you will feel and process the emotions of those around you either knowingly or unknowingly, if you feel drained in the presence of those that are struggling or feeling hindered it is a sign their emotions have leaked into your aura and cleansing is recommended (see Melanies Spiritual Cleansing package).

2. Place empathy is another gift which goes largely unnoticed. If you have the awareness that you are uncomfortable or alternatively really happy in a certain location then this is your particular brand. Place empathy can occur remotely by tuning into a photograph or area remotely, you can also use this gift when moving on lost souls, or loved ones to heaven. People with this gift will often exhibit ‘chills’ or ‘wanting to leave’ if the location they are in houses old energy or emotions.

3. Medical Empathy is a lesser known gift, most commonly it is not used by practitioners in a conscious way they may just ‘feel’ an awareness on or in their physical body when reading for or treating someone or bringing through a loved one who passed from a condition, they can also ‘see’ blockages in a person’s energy field that may need treating. Medical empaths are more common than you would know, and if you have this gift you may find yourself replicating the symptoms of your friends, partner or clients even if you are not physically in the same country as them and you may not even be aware of their health issues.

If medical empathy is something you possess, learning to strengthen your own energy field will help this gift get stronger whilst being able to be ‘turned off’ when you are not with clients it also means that you will not be affected by another’s health issues all be it by default.

4. Environmental empathy is one of the least known gifts, and the souls that possess this are called Earth Primordials. They will often feel great sadness when the Earth is going through trauma and transition, and will also pick up on the sadness or fear in certain geographical areas.

You will also find if you possess this gift you are drawn to animals and nature, and will feel a kinship to woods, trees and landscape and want to keep them as natural as possible. Environmental empathy can be exhibited by those that use their healing powers to send love to Gaia and also those who take on the causes of the Earth to make it a better place for all to live.

5. Intellectual empathy is a gift that is a real benefit depending on the company you keep. If you possess this gift then you will tap into the thoughts and perspectives of those around you. This is wonderful if you keep high vibrational company even remotely. It allows you to ‘duplicate the consciousness’ of individuals that you admire and would like to be just a little bit alike. the great thing is this doesn’t take from them as consciousness is always available on a mass scale as well as personally.

However, if you have people or clients that are worried or upset or operating from a ‘lack’ point of view, then protecting your energy and your mental body is a must. Signs that you have this gift are changing your language over a short period of time, experiencing views that are out of character to you, and suddenly developing an urge to seek out information of a new kind in a way that hadn’t presented itself before.

Discovering what kind of empathic gift you have and how clairvoyant you are are just some of the ways that an Akashic record or Angel reading can help you connect to your intuition. It provides clarity on why you just ‘know’ certain things, and why you avoid certain people and situations, it also helps if you are involved in the healing arts and truly want to expand to help others like yourself find their light.

The angels are encouraging all Angel Workers to come out from hiding, not to worry about what society thinks as awareness is changing, and understanding your gift better is a perfect way to start.

Remember, the fastest way to grow your gift is to love it just the way it is, and if you want some help with that Melanies meditations and my Angel readings are the perfect start to your new path.


Sunday, March 19, 2017

The best way to get revenge on a Narcissist


Dear Narcissist Problems,
I have been with a narcissist for 3 years and he abruptly ended it. I don’t know where to start but he is the one who fell in love with me and proposed to me. He was what I thought was an understanding person and respected me. But as time was passing by his colors were shown, angry!!!! Selfish!!! But yet I continued to love him. Then he started accusing me for so many things which I thought “Why am I getting accused??” He would call me a liar when I would start to explain why I didn’t do what he was accusing me of doing.

My Narcissistic Ex Keeps calling me Crazy
By the 2nd year he started calling me insane. He used to tell me that repeated mistakes are insanity but my repeated mistake was just “nagging” him for his love. I think that is a common characteristic of women and I used to tell him that I am not insane. I would again explain and defend myself. As time was going along he started calling me an idiot, that I have “no brains” that I “have an understanding problem”, “insane” and I was really pissed.

He has Characteristics of a narcissist
He started using his recovery terms on me when he has to apply them to his life and not mine. Then he started using these words every day and he stopped communicating with me. At first I was in bad shape thinking it was all my fault. But I came to this page and I was so relieved that it’s not my fault and these are the characteristics of a narcissist.

He really made me feel like I am the worst person on earth and he the best. Nothing was his problem and he left me because of my “INSANE” personality. But now I know I am not insane and it’s him!!!! All I want to say is I am still trying to recover from his verbal abuse as he was manipulating me with his satisfactory terms of life. God knows who the hell can deal with a narcissistic personality disorder!! I’m still trying to recover but the anger I have for him is too much. I still cry while thinking of how he made fun of my love for him. Calling me stupid and insane as if I were desperate. But the anger is what comes around, comes around, and comes around… he will definitely pay for what he has done to me. I wanted to ask if narcissists will ever think they have done anything wrong or  do narcissists ever feel guilty? Hurting someone so much and they can live a happy life?

Sincerely,

I want Revenge

Dear “Revenge”,
I’m really glad that you found your way here too because the first thing I would like to say is to let go of wanting any pay back or revenge. The best way to get revenge on this jerk is to become hell bent on understanding narcissism and narcissistic abuse so that you don’t end up in another relationship like this one and healing yourself. The number one best way to get revenge on a narcissist is by living a happy life filled with people who love you! Holding onto the anger of what you have been through with a narcissist will end up eating you alive. Moreover, it will keep you trapped in a vicious cycle of enmeshment with this person. He isn’t worth it. Think of the years you spent already trying to make things work with him. You don’t want to spend any more years trying to make him realize how much he has hurt you because he never will. If he does realize then he just does not care.

Do Narcissists Ever feel like they have done anything wrong?
You are asking some very great questions. Does he feel he has done anything wrong? This could go two ways with a narcissist really because they have very distorted thinking. In the first instance he may have justified his actions and bad behavior to himself making what he has done “ok” in his mind. The second instance is that yes he knows exactly what he is doing and he did it on purpose. Either way, he hurt you and would have only continued to hurt you and when he crawls back to you DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK!!!! He will never change so keep in mind when you are feeling nostalgic that narcissists only change their outfits and their victims.

Why do narcissists do what they do?
Why narcissists do what they do will remain a mystery for anyone who has empathy. We can examine their behavior, we can be involved with disordered individuals, and we can even have family that do cruel things. The biggest question that many survivors of narcissistic abusers have is if they feel bad or guilty about what they have done to us. From personal experience, I don’t think they will ever feel bad as far as we go. They might display remorse occasionally but when they do it is typically to further manipulate us. Once they have their mind set on abusing or exploiting someone it seems the only thing they learn to do is change their tactics when they get caught.

Narcissists are unlikely to feel remorse or guilt because they have no empathy
As for remorse or guilt it is highly unlikely. I shared a video the other day from Simon Baron-Cohen of whom I just became familiar with his work. Cohen has a very interesting perspective on the human personality as he utilizes research from multiple disciplines while searching for the answers for why people behave cruelly or why people do evil things. He investigates research from developmental psychology, neuroscience, genetics, and psychiatry to explain why some people lack empathy. He goes further to distinguish known disorders where empathy or reaction are limited specifically those diagnosed with autism and psychopaths.
Simon Baron-Cohen FBA is Professor of developmental psychopathology at the University of Cambridge in the United Kingdom. He is the Director of the University’s Autism Research Centre, and a Fellow of Trinity College. Seems like a pretty nifty title right? Well FBA is short for Functional Behavior Assessment and is a process that identifies specific target behavior, the purpose of the behavior, and what factors maintain the behavior. What I find really interesting about his work is the connections he makes with research regarding empathy.

Are Narcissists Evil?
He recently wrote a book that covers how empathy works and why some people turn into psychopaths and also the different types of empathy or lack of. I would suggest checking out his book The Science of Evil : On Empathy and the Origins of Cruelty because I think it would help you understand why your narcissist has done what he has done and his ultimate feelings about it which could help you find some closure.

Unsatisfied with the explanation of atrocities being “because those who commit them are evil” Cohen has been on a mission since childhood to find an exact answer as to how people can be so cruel and why. Which is great for anyone who has suffered at the hands of a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath. We need answers on the cellular level of our beings as to why and how our abuser could have done the things they did to us when all we wanted was to love and to be loved by them. In this book he says that the term evil is an easy way out of explaining anything on the subject so he refers to this behavior as “empathy erosion”.

Further, “empathy erosion can arise because of corrosive emotions, such as bitter resentment, or desire for revenge, or blind hatred, or a desire to protect, or the result of permanent psychological characteristics.” He completely dissects the debate of nature VS. Nurture and comes to the conclusion that psychopaths are cruel because of both nature and nurture. When people suffer from empathy erosion this is when people get turned into objects. They are no longer considered to be “people” with feelings or emotions. 
Those who suffer from a lack of empathy have no more concern for their victims than they would a pair of shoes.

If you hang out around survivors of cluster B disordered individuals long enough you will come to find that these are some pretty amazing people. Survivors are beautiful on the inside but they didn’t become that way due to the abuse of a narcissist or a psychopath. They were always that way. So when you say why did he do this to me, why did he make me feel stupid, why did he need to show me that he was better than me it is for one reason alone: He is intimidated by how intelligent and amazing you are and he needed to destroy something beautiful?

Narcissist steal objects and qualities from their victims
Another thing they do is try to “steal” the qualities of their victims so they mentally absorb all they find valuable in you and then they try to make it seem as if those qualities never existed in you in the first place. They are after something that you have whether it is physical like money or property or spiritually/ mentally like the essence of who you are. When they become hell bent on stealing from someone either physically, mentally, or spiritually they only focus on what they are wanting. They no longer see you as a person.

In his book Cohen explains the why and how people can do cruel things with one example:

Erosion of empathy is a state of mind that can be found in any culture. In 2006 I was in Kenya with my family on holiday. We landed in Nairobi, a massive international city swirling with people. Sadly, Nairobi is home to one of the largest slums in Africa. People sleeping on the streets, mothers dying of AIDS, malnourished children begging or doing anything they can to survive. I met Esther, a young Kenyan woman, one of the fortunate ones who had a job. She warned me to be careful of the rising crime in Nairobi.

“I was in the supermarket,” she said. “Suddenly, a woman near me who was paying for her groceries let out a scream. A man behind her had cut off her finger. In the commotion, the man slid the wedding ring off the severed finger and ran off into the crowds.”
This is a shocking example of what one person can do to another. Formulating the plan to go out into the crowded supermarket to steal is easy enough to comprehend, especially if a person is starving. Formulating the plan to take a knife along is a bit harder to identify with, since it indicates clear premeditation to cut something.

But for me the key is to imagine the mind of the person in the seconds just before the act of cutting. At that very moment presumably all that is visible to the thief is the target (the ring), a small object that could feed him for weeks. All that is lying between him and his next meal is the woman’s finger that has to be severed. The fact that the finger is attached to a hand is mere inconvenience, and cold logic points to the solution: Detach it. The fact that the hand is attached to a person, with her own life and her own feelings, is at that moment irrelevant. Out of mind. It is an example of turning another person into, no more than, an object. My argument is that when you treat someone as an object, your empathy has been turned off.”

Narcissists see their victims as objects and not people
So when you ask will a narcissist ever feel guilty for hurting you…. I think the only answer is No he knew what he was doing but he just did not care because he has zero empathy for your pain. You had something that he desperately wanted. There really is no difference between this supermarket thief and your ex-boyfriend in regards to how they feel about their victims.

It is going to take a really long time to recover from this relationship. Being angry is a natural response to injustice and a violation of who we are as human beings. Wanting to be loved and wanted is a normal human behavior. Gaining someone’s love just too consistently reject, criticize and tear them down is not a normal human behavior and you should avoid anyone who does this to you because they will slowly kill you over time.


Article Source:http://narcissistproblems.blogspot.com/

Friday, March 17, 2017

8 EFFECTIVE WAYS TO MANIPULATE A NARCISSIST


Evelyn Ryan, Yourlifelifter

If you are or have been in a relationship with a narcissist or were raised by or among one or more, you have been traumatized by and suffered what I believe is the worst psychological and emotional abuse imaginable. The harm is immeasurable and can go on for years.

You will read over and over and over again how “no contact” is critical to your healing from the trauma and for you rebuild your destroyed self-esteem and self-worth and, for some, your broken bank accounts.

And I agree…totally. Fortunately, some of mine (yes, a herd) live far away and make it a bit easier for me.

But what about the one or ones who are not far away? What about those you have to see on a periodic or more frequent basis? What about those we must be around or those we work with and see or speak with daily or every other day or even weekly? What about those we may be in court with, at graduation, a school ceremony, or maybe even a wedding?

How do we manage those interactions? How do we make them tolerable? Should we?

I remembered at the beginning of my healing even after years of study wondering (I analyze all the time), “Can you have a workable relationship with a narcissist?”
The answer is an unequivocal, YES.

Sam Vaknin, a pathological narcissist amongst other things, and a renowned expert on narcissism, stated that you could if you learned how to manipulate him or her or them. If Sam, a self proclaimed narcissist and expert whom I respect very much said so then it must be so. After all, I have a professional relationship with Sam. Since Sam is brilliant, extremely analytical and detailed, and based on my reading thousands of pages he (and others) have written on pathological narcissism, I can only surmise he does not know exactly how. Sam does provide excellent pointers (with a narcissist’s bias) on how to deal with them but did not provide specific “how” to tips. After all, how often would a narcissist manipulate another narcissist, right? It is possible but not probable.

So I embarked on my own mission to figure out “how do I manipulate a narcissist” and here is what I discovered:

“Use them to your advantage as they use you.”

Let’s break this down a bit further.

If narcissists need adulation and attention and feed off of our energy and we know what makes them tick, why not give them what they need in selective and effective doses if and only 
if it benefits you or your children.

Give them a dose of their own medicine with a spoonful of sugar!
The key here is only if it benefits you and only if you are comfortable and secure in your sense of personal power.

And if you are, then, use your compassion and emotional intelligence that made you a target of a narcissist now to manipulate them as they did us and to balance out the power, to level the playing field, per se. Use your regained personal power to tip the scales in your favor and to turn the parasite host relationship into a mutually beneficial one and one that will minimize and prevent further harm to you and your children.

Oh, the narcissist will make all attempts to take something from you, no doubt. They need to in order to survive. It is their given purpose like it is a mosquito’s purpose to buzz around and annoy you. So the goal here is to minimize the harm to you and your children using psychological narc repellant.

One thing for sure, you cannot accomplish this goal by seeking revenge on them or trying to ruin him or her or his or her reputation.

I would like to caution everyone that doing this is not advisable and probably not going to be very effective in your early stages of healing when your self-power and self-esteem are diminished and no contact is absolutely necessary to ensure your well-being. This also takes strong self-resolve, focus, and discipline and good “acting” skills. While these are honed over time, you can, nevertheless, start learning and practicing them immediately. At this point strong advocacy by someone experienced in narcissism and
narcissistic abuse recovery may be warranted and can be very useful to take some of the burden off of you, minimize your contact with the narcissist, and allow you to focus on
your healing. Remember, we should never participate in an interaction that will put us or our children in harm’s way. Seek police or legal or professional action for protection immediately.

So here are eight quick and effective strategies you can use to manipulate a narcissist and help minimize the harm they inflict on you. Note, however, that the narcissists benefit as well. These suggestions are mutually beneficially and are designed to balance power and minimize and prevent further harm to you and your children. That is the key objective here.

1 Be strategic, not revengeful.
Establish clear goals with the strongest emphasis on your long term vision of emotional freedom and health rather than short term material gains, revenge, and ego satisfaction. Money and material possessions are not an indicator of success or healthy self-esteem and can be regained and earned quicker that your emotional health can heal. Money can be a powerful motivator in the interim but may do more harm longer term if it keeps you trapped and emotionally unhealthy and suffering. Be clear that your motives during “required” interactions be based solely on what benefits you and your children and supports your emotional healing into the future.

Narcissists are aggressive but very predictable and you can use this to develop offensive strategies to achieve your goals and minimize harm from them. Your choice of divorce or to stop providing narcissistic supply will instill his or her wrath and they will fight to the death to win and defend their fear of shame from you exposing the truth about who they really are to those who know them and even those who do not in the courtroom. So he or she will not hesitate to destroy you and your reputation and lie about you and recruit his flying monkeys to lie about you in court. Expect this and be prepared. Stay calm and focused on long-term emotional freedom and your children’s well-being, not short term self-satisfaction and retaliation.

Retaliation and benefit are not synonymous. Do not seek revenge or ever “go after” a narcissist, or anyone for that matter. Narcissists are energy vampires and feed off of your negative energies which keeps them on the offensive and in combat mode to defeat you. Going after them can keep you stuck, as well, in reactive victimhood mentality mode that feeds your ego-based need for revenge and retaliation rather than your long-term emotional freedom and health. Revenge, in effect, directs your feeling of powerlessness to your abuser and transfers your power to him or her, power they continue to use against you and your children. The best type of revenge is your and your children’s personal and emotional healing. As you heal, your children will heal through you.

2 Use your compassion and emotional intelligence to your advantage.
Play off a narcissist’s predictable and (yawn), yes, boring, reactions and moods. Use this knowledge to fuel your strength and develop offensive strategies. You know them better than they know themselves. Gauge their moods and meter your actions accordingly. Be careful not to overdo it. Act commensurate with what you want to achieve. Be creative. Think out of the box.

Rather than trigger their fears and aggressive offensive actions, focus on creating an illusion that the narcissist is winning. If he aggressively goes after you, do not react aggressively. Remain calm and be soothing instead. Choose your battles carefully and be willing to lose a battle to win the war. If he or she wants the furniture, for example, keep a few pieces for yourself and not only give them the rest, tell them they deserve it. No harm done, you have fed their depraved need to win, and increased the chances they will back off and moved closer to the finish line. In the mean time, make a plan to redecorate and buy that awesome furniture you want and deserve.

3 Only interact with them on days that things are going their way.
This is when they are the most malleable. Otherwise have no contact with them. Remember that you will always be their narcissistic supply and on their off days, they will shadow their wrath on you like they did in the past. The objective is to take actions that benefit you, not cause you further harm and that keep you on the healing track with your eye on the finish line, your emotional freedom.

4 Avoid a battle including court at all costs.
Don’t do just what your attorney or friend tells you to do to maximize your partner’s losses for your or their personal gain and to get even. Never take punitive actions or actions that “appear” punitive. Narcissists are predictable but complex and hate to lose and to be challenged, ashamed, exposed, or criticized and will fight to the death to avoid any. Never ever ever let them see you sweat or show emotions that they can construe to the court as your emotional imbalance and inability to be an effective parent. Play nice in the sand box to tip the scales in your favor. Remember your goal and keep your eye on the prize. Be creative.

A gutsy friend told her ex that legally having joint custody would be a burden on him that he did not deserve and that he could see his son whenever he wanted. This was true and she ended up with full legal custody which was in her son’s best interest. She never prevented him from seeing him which turned out to be a few visits anyway and he backed off since he perceived he had already won the battle.

5 Give something up periodically to provide an illusion that the narcissist won rather
than challenge them to provide a strategic upper hand.
Narcissists have aggressive personalities and have to win at all costs. If they lose, you must lose. If they win, you must lose.
But you can make the situation appear as if only he won when in reality it is a “win-win” by using strategic tactics. I know people who waived hundreds of thousands of dollars of child support since money was the narcissist’s sore spot and would keep them connected to something they needed to move away from. This leveled the playing field and minimized the conflict to them and their children. The narcissists backed off. They took action that supported their goal for emotional freedom rather than revenge or personal gain. Remember to be able to see the forest through the trees you have to keep looking for and seeking the forest. Remember to keep your eye on the finish line.

6 Pay them compliments or give them a present.
This will feed their need for attention and adulation. Even if you are in divorce or custody proceedings, they will never pass up on a compliment that they were the best at this or that. Tell them they look great, are an expert, are the smartest or whatever pushes their egotistic buttons. Be creative. Perhaps, even cook them their favorite meal or cookies. Remember that while you may believe some of this, you are insincerely paying compliments. Do this sporadically and intermittently only if you need to. Remember the elemental word here is your self-benefit not your self-sacrifice.

7 Agree with them even if you don’t.
This “appearance” will feed their need to be right and to win. You will know the truth but he or she won’t and it won’t matter. If your conscience makes it hard for you to actively agree, then respond neutrally such as “Geeze, that is interesting. I never heard it put that way before.” Or just nod and say “ohhhh” or “I get it.”

8 Apologize if you feel you have to in order to get what you want even if you don’t have any remorse.
Even better, tell them you made a mistake and should have listened to them. Again, this  “appearance” will play up on their need to diminish and denigrate and their need for adulation and to win.

I hope you find these tips useful.

Remember:

You are not powerless to these creeps and can use your compassion and emotional intelligence that made you a target of a narcissist to turn a harmful power imbalanced relationship into a more power-balanced one that minimizes and prevents further harm to you and your children.


Source https://yourlifelifter.com/2015/07/27/how-do-i-manipulate-a-narcissist/

7 Red Flags To Look For When Dating A Narcissist



With more and more people turning to dating apps and websites to meet people, we see a relatable pattern. You see someone’s photo. You’re attracted. You read their profile or brief description of who they claim to be. You reach out. You exchange emails. You text. Maybe you’ll speak briefly and then, you meet. You’re hitting it off. Things seem great. However, it seems almost too good to be true. Is it?

According to Dr. Sanam Hafeez, a NYC-based licensed clinical psychologist, teaching faculty member at the prestigious Columbia University Teacher’s College and the founder and Clinical Director of Comprehensive Consultation Psychological Services, narcissists are everywhere and in varying degrees. She explains that the current “swipe right” dating culture only feeds their agenda, it’s important to understand who they are and how to spot them.

What is narcissism?
Many mental health specialists agree that narcissism is basically an individual who has an excessive interest or admiration of a false self they created to cope with early hurts as children. “Narcissists are disconnected from their true selves and are constantly working to appear better than others. They have an idealized self-image and are in love with that image which hides their true wounded self,” says Hafeez.
Dr. Hafeez shares some “red flag” characteristics of narcissists along with tips and insights that can spare many people the heartache and mental anguish that comes with dating a narcissist.

1 Narcissists are off the charts charming. 
They are incredibly upbeat and bombard you with compliments. Immediately you are captivated by them and their focus on you. They have quick wit, can read people and know what to say to make them feel good. “Narcissists are great at building rapport quickly; however, they are doing so to serve themselves first and foremost. In other words, they feed off the attention, admiration and validation of others so they charm with an agenda,” cautions Dr. Hafeez.

2 In their mind, it’s really all about them.
The interesting thing about the narcissist is that they make it seem as if they are interested in you however they will always turn the conversation and back to them. “These are not team players. They look to their partner to be the source of their happiness and much of that happiness comes from getting approval or even sympathy,” explains Dr. Hafeez. “Early on in their childhoods the narcissist didn’t get the nurturing they needed to feel secure. They were neglected or made to feel as if they were bad, so they spend their time and energy showing how great they are,” she adds.

3 Rules don’t apply to the entitled narcissist.
They’re most likely to have a handicap tag hanging from the rearview mirror of their Porsche. When asked about the handicapped tag they’ll launch into a descriptive, detailed 20-minute story about how they injured their knee, entitling them to the handicapped tag. They want to gain your sympathy. Other rule breaking behaviors, disobeying traffic laws, parking illegally in front of places leaving you waiting as they quickly “run in,” cutting lines, and even stealing. “They truly believe the world revolves around them and expect others to cater to their needs. This is due to needs being unmet earlier in life,” says Dr. Hafeez.

4 They disrespect boundaries. 
Be mindful of your boundaries! Narcissists will do things like invade your physical space, borrow or take belongings or even money without returning or repayment. They break promises without remorse and may even blame the victim. “Protecting your boundaries is incredibly important when dealing with a narcissist. When over stepping is permitted, it leads to codependence and a lost sense of self,” warns Dr. Hafeez.

5 They look great on the surface.
Their desire to impress others may lead them to a lot of time and money on their physical appearance. They are all about status and achievement. They’ll brag about their education, their possessions, who they know, their accomplishments and typically, it’s exaggerated. “This again stems from the desire of approval. They care what others think of them so much that they use people and situations to fuel the false self they created,” explains Dr. Hafeez.

6 They’ll disappear like a ghost and you’ll feel discarded.
Narcissists will put you on a pedestal as they complement and charm you. You will feel incredibly special, caught up on their intent gaze upon you. However, once they see you’re just as interested in your own well-being, that you’re protective of your boundaries, that you have other interests and put them in their place; they swiftly move on. When they see you won’t allow manipulation, they disappear and will be incredibly cold. They may even give the silent treatment and blame you.

7 Their past relationships are all drama.
They will make it seem like their exes were all crazy, will share horror stories and make you feel as if you are the best thing they found. They paint themselves as the victim and may add that their ex still wants them. “Pay very close attention to how the person speaks about their past relationships,” advises Dr. Haffeez. “Narcissists typically won’t keep answers brief, positive and forward moving when it comes to past relationships,” she adds.

About the Doctor:
Dr. Sanam Hafeez PsyD is a NYC based licensed clinical psychologist, teaching faculty member at the prestigious Columbia University Teacher’s College and the founder and Clinical Director of Comprehensive Consultation Psychological Services, P.C. a neuropsychological, developmental and educational center in Manhattan and Queens. 


Dr. Hafeez masterfully applies her years of experience connecting psychological implications to address some of today’s common issues such as body image, social media addiction, relationships, workplace stress, parenting and psychopathology (bipolar, schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, etc…). In addition, Dr. Hafeez works with individuals who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), learning disabilities, attention and memory problems, and abuse. Dr. Hafeez often shares her credible expertise to various news outlets in New York City and frequently appears on CNN and Dr.Oz.

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

This Is What Emotional Abuse From a Narcissist Looks Like


By Marie Cyprien

The scary part about abuse is that it isn’t always physical, it can be psychological as well, in varying degrees including emotional.
Emotional abuse can be hard to spot or realize because it can occur in relationships beyond romantic like your parents, siblings, friends, etc. and you may see it as something akin to tough love.

But it’s vital to remember that there’s a difference between tough love and toxic abuse:

1. The constant “this is what’s wrong with you”? lectures. It’s like the criticisms never stop. It’s good to have someone who helps you to be a better person, but if they end up breaking down every single part of you, then the line of abuse has been crossed.

2. Living in fear. There’s always this atmosphere of tension whenever they’re around. Even when they’re in a good mood, you still feel like you have to brace yourself for something.

3. The comparisons. They’re always comparing you to either themselves or someone who seems better than you at everything.

4. The creepy possessiveness. They get mad when you place priorities over them no matter how important those priorities are. Anything you do solely for yourself puts them in a state 0-100 in seconds.

5. Having no self-esteem…because they’ve torn down all the quirks and traits that make up who you are. You lose your self-worth because your value has been stolen, leaving you to rebuild again.

6. Confessions you’re better off not knowing. Emotional abusers tend to confess personal and sometimes disturbing secrets you’d rather not know about as a way to make you feel like you’re obligated to stay in a relationship with them.

7. Trying to turn everyone against you. They’ll talk to other people in your life about your flaws without you knowing. They try to make you out to be a tragic case who everyone has to either pity or stay away from.

8. Intense isolation. They’ll usually use guilt as a way to isolate you from the world. They’ll tell you how much your friends don’t actually care for you or get mad at you for investing a little too much time in a hobby you like. They’ll make you believe they’re the only one you need in your life.

9. Denial…because it’s someone you care about and you don’t want to cut them off. You convince yourself that they do it because they love you and that you should appreciate it. But the truth is that it’s abuse and you have to break the chain before it suffocates you.


Thursday, March 9, 2017

She Grows Up With Gorillas. 12 Years Later When They're Reunited? This Left Me Speechless!


The nonprofit Tansy Aspinall was launched among the gorillas at Howletts Wild Animal Park in Kent, England. One little girl helped with everyday activities in the family's charity, The Aspinall Foundation, working to rehabilitate gorillas who had been in captivity. The nonprofit organization's goal is to be able to release the gorillas back into their native habitat in West Africa.

12 years ago, they released two gorillas, Bimms and Djalta, who were born in an 
Animal Park in Kent, as part of a program to reintroduce gorillas back to their natural environment. In 2014, Tansy and her dad Damian traveled to Gabon where they'd been released, to see if they could find their old friends.

It's just amazing to watch both Djalta and Bimms respond to Damian's voice. And then, the way they react to Tansy, who was just a toddler when they first met? This left me absolutely speechless.

Watch for yourself below.



This was the most moving thing I’ve seen in a long time! Just incredible that they recognized each other after all those years. Please pass this along so that more people can also experience this magical moment. 


Source-http://en.newsner.com/she-grows-up-with-gorillas-12-years-later-when-theyre-reunited-this-left-me-speechless/about/animals,family

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

10 reasons why psychopaths get away with “it”



Why is it that psychopaths frequently get away with cheating, abuse, backstabbing, fraud, theft, and other nefarious activities — even murder? Here are 10 strategies that these exploiters may employ to escape accountability.

Psychopaths lie fluently and convincingly.
They lie while looking you right in they eye, without a trace of nervousness or guilt. If they’re caught in a lie, they easily lie to cover the lie. It’s no wonder they are believed.

Psychopaths protest with righteous indignation.
They say they would NEVER do such a thing, and HOW can you possibly accuse 
THEM of such behavior? Everyone doubts you, and you even doubt yourself.

Psychopaths smear their accuser/target.
If that’s you, they ruin your credibility, often starting the smear campaign long before you even realize what they’ve done to you. When everything blows up, you have no support.

Psychopaths become whatever will serve their agenda.
Should they express remorse? Pull rank? Plead ignorance? Portray the bumbling fool? They’ll do whatever enables them to escape consequences.

Psychopaths plan many moves in advance.
They plot and scheme, lining up allies, fall guys, minions, bank accounts, transfers, even replacement romantic partners. Then they make their move.

Psychopaths grab targets of opportunity.
They are always on the lookout for someone who is useful to their agenda. If you have something they want, they figure out where you are vulnerable and use it against you.

Psychopaths know how to go right up to the line without crossing it.
Psychopaths often engage in behavior that is immoral and unethical, but not illegal. Or, the situations are he said/she said, with no proof of anything. There is nothing to prosecute.

Psychopaths size up and flatter whomever they need to convince.
Is it a boss, a police officer, a therapist, a judge? They align themselves with that person, pretend to be on the same team, and turn an adversary into an ally.

Psychopaths have the dirt on whomever is passing judgment.
They put adversaries, work superiors and legal authorities in compromising positions, and then engage in blackmail. Suddenly, the case is dropped.

10 Psychopaths expect to get away with their actions.
They believe they can talk themselves out of anything, or divert attention to someone else. In many cases, they’ve been doing it successfully all their lives.

Okay, sometimes psychopaths have to face the consequences of their actions. After all, experts say 25 percent of the prison population are psychopaths. But even those who are locked up probably got away with a lot of bad behavior before they were finally put behind bars.




Never underestimate a psychopath.